Monday, April 23, 2012

The School Parking Lot. Or As I Like To Call It - Hell. (A Monday Mommy Rant)

Every weekday around 3pm I find myself cringing. It's like I have some kind of an internal alarm clock that can premeditate despair. What is it about this time of day that has me writhing in discomfort?? It's at this time that I load up my little ones and head off to what I am sure is the worst place that exists this side of hell. I refer of course to the elementary school parking lot. If teething and pre-schooler temper tantrums weren't already driving me to drink this place would be reason enough to hit the bottle (relax I'm being sarcastic). Have you ever seen footage of the running of the the bulls that takes place annually in the streets of Spain??  People running every which way, screaming, being trampled?? The school parking lot is comparable to this but with soccer Moms which instantly makes it that much worse. I have heard of schools that closely monitor their parking lots close to the ringing of that final bell - I call urban myth on that one. I have yet to see a single staff member near my child's school parking lot but I can tell you what I have seen a lot of - inconsiderate jerk offs that are begging for a friendly chair to the face.

Ok I have a wee bit of rage when it comes to this issue.

Here's why.


My 7 year old, who I pick up daily from this place I would rather not speak of, has autism spectrum disorder. Understanding my childs sensitivities to overwhelming stimuli (ie-final bell chaos) my son's very cooperative and kind-hearted teacher worked out an arrangement with me to pick up my child from school 10 minutes early. So every day I load a 4 month old and a 3 year old into the car during what is usually nap time and make the drive to the school in sun, rain or snow to pick up my oldest and bring him back home. Finding a parking space, easy - I'm there 20 minutes before the bell rings. Actually being able to get out of that parking space and LEAVE the school - not so much. By the time I have made it back to my car and loaded all 3 of my children back into my vehicle one of 2 things happens. 1 - Someone has parked their car in the fire route along the curb behind my parking spot completely blocking me in and making it impossible to back out from my parking space. Or 2 - Someone will pull into the space behind me just as I am loading my kids in to leave or am partway through backing out of said space. I like to believe there is a special place in hell reserved for these people. In my head my reaction to this scenario would involve either repeatedly smashing the back end of my car into the side of their vehicle or taking a key to the side of their yuppy, fresh paint job. In reality there is not a lot I can do but sit there and stew while my baby screams in the backseat and the bell rings...up to 10 minutes later.

Now I understand that we are all in a big, important hurry and some of us actually have legitimate reasons to want to park closer to the front entrance of the school. Let's face it though...the majority of the offenders are simply lazy and cannot bare the thought of walking across the street after failing to arrive in time to score an actual parking space. So I beg of you this - before you park your vehicle near your childs school tomorrow, or the next day, first ask yourself if what you are doing would classify you as a douchebag. In all seriousness you could not only be inconveniencing another busy parent but could possibly be to blame for a parking lot fender bender or the injury of someones child. Is all of this worth saving yourself from a 45 second stroll?? All of us are at that school for the same reason. We love our children and we want them to come home safely. In a perfect world we would all work together and take the inconveniencing of another family in our community into consideration. In the very least if you absolutely "have to" park in the fire route at least have the courtesy to scoot out of the way to allow those picking children up early an opportunity to leave safely.

And lastly to the considerate gentleman that pulled up behind me in his taxi as I was backing out today, refused to move and then thought it necessary to yell and cuss at me after I phoned his dispatcher - I have a chair with your name on it.


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