Monday, May 14, 2012

Somebody Call a Whaaaa-mbulance. Waging War on Whiners. (A Monday Mommy Rant)

We all do it. Whining that is. It really is just second nature to make small talk complaining about the weather or traffic or a sleepless night. Nobody minds the occasional whine when it's light hearted and harmless and especially when it's mutually empathized. But we've all come into contact with one of those people that takes complaining on as a full time hobby. For some it's a life style. A negative state of mind can be like a disease and unfortunately for the rest of us it can also be contagious. So I am waging full out war on this crime against humanity and calling out the whiners, the naysayers and the negative nancies here and now. But please don't call me out on the obvious - I am whining about whiners. I'm taking one for the team.

Winners aren't whiners. The happiest people around will gladly tell you the secret to their success and fulfilling lives. They don't waste their precious lives thinking about the things they cannot change. The happy folks instead focus on what they DO have and what they CAN change. The more one whines the more they are focusing on the things in their lives that are making them miserable - therefore without even realizing it they are attracting more of those negative feelings and experiences into their lives. I can tell you one thing I know for sure - positive minded peeps run a mile from negative whiny whiners. Somebody call whine-1-1!!

Got an urge to purge some whining?? Save it for your fave gal pal, your spouse or take your aggression out at the gym. Punching bags make great listeners. We all need to vent once in a while but these are a few of the situations in which you should really spare us and yourself from circling the negative brain drain -

1. Your Facebook Status. Passive aggressive status updates are NOT cute. Neither is posting "FML!!" and then telling people not to ask when they inquire as to if you are alright. Nothing screams drama queen or "please pay attention to me!!" quite the same way as a whiny status on Facebook about how hard your life is right now. The odd genuine and honest update about a difficult life challenge is not what I am talking about here. We all reach out for support when we need it. It's the repeated, day after day, whiners and complainers we have to read about every morning on our newsfeed that I've got a gripe with. Let's keep our screens clean - if you find yourself typing a hateful or needy status update please do us all a favor and logout first.Otherwise my itchy finger is going to be hitting that delete friend button.

2. On a Night Out. Nothing annoys me more than getting all dolled up for a night on the town to then arrive and have one person in the group treat this as an opportunity to dump on everyone there. No matter how tired you are feeling, how sick you may feel, how much drama you have going on at work, a night out is not the time to bring any of this up. As parents we rarely get to enjoy the luxury of heading out without our children to enjoy the company of other grown ups. The last thing we want to hear is someone complaining. If you aren't feeling it - stay home. Otherwise bite your tongue and sip your martini until you're as happy as the rest of us are to be out of the house!!

3. First Impressions DO Count!! The WORST time to get your whine on is when you are meeting somebody, anybody for that matter, for the first time. Do you really want to be remembered for your snarky commentary or the bad day you couldn't shake?? I didn't think so. My friends husband has the unfortunate nickname of "that tired guy" all because the first time he was introduced on a night out all he did was complain about how exhausted he was....repeatedly.

4. Bad Timing. Your girlfriend is devastated because she is going through a divorce. When she is sobbing on the other end of the telephone is NOT the time to complain about how insensitive your husband can be or how you cannot believe you were passed for that promotion. If someone near and dear to you is going though a tough time save your own minor personal troubles for later. How would you feel if you truly needed some support and your friend wouldn't stop nattering on about her inlaws. The same law of sensitivity goes for smaller situations as well. Say your friend just had a baby and is having a horrible time losing the weight -  standing there in your size twos and calling yourself a heffer is probably not going to help her self esteem. In short think before you open your mouth.

5. In Front of our Children. I'm guilty of this one from time to time. Throw the book at me!! One thing that is important to remember is that we are providing a living and breathing example to our children each and every day. The types of things we complain about most often can help our children form similar opinions and habits of their own. Keeping things positive helps build self esteem and coping techniques for those times when things get tough. We wouldn't want our children to walk around with a "life sucks" attitude so perhaps we should all take that into consideration when we find ourselves about to climb aboard the whaaa-mbulance.



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